And just like that… we are in the new year

We made it. 

We survived the soul-crushing experience of the holidays while being LGBTQ+

… and we are still standing. 

Some of us are only barely hanging on. 

Hey you, we see you out there, clutching that wine glass, still reeling from the verbal grenades Aunt Suzie threw at you across the dinner table at Christmas. Yes we know that Aunt Suzie was blitzed, but her words still stung and now you are picking up the carnage of being left undefended against her fundamentalist bullshit about you being an abomination. 

Three days with your family takes three, long, gut-wrenching emotionally-laden months to recover from. Most days are filled with substances to numb the pain. 

Psychology Today describes our trek back home…

“Many of us are often quite disappointed by the reality of a return home, which can inflame wounds around being rejected, or being only tolerated rather than fully accepted. Intrusive questions, snide remarks that indicate a lack of understanding and acceptance, as well as the need to hide from some or all family members are what faces many of us when we return to the old homestead.” [1]

Never again, you think.

Never again will I go home over the holidays and be hurt like I was in: insert every-year-since-you-left-home here. But you know you will…Return home for the holidays, that is. 

So what now? 

Your sobriety took a backseat next to the sidecar show your mental health became over the holidays and you desperately want to find your way back. What is your first step?

We admitted that we were powerless over … 

Our addiction

Our family 

Our emotions

Our thoughts

Other people

But primarily… our addiction

And our lives had become…Unmanageable. 

That snarky response at the dinner table from Aunt Suzy? Unmanageable. The constant alarms going off in our brain telling us that we have gone way past the line of social drinking? Unmanageable. Emotions threatening to catapult us into a major depressive episode once again? Unmanageable. Staying in bed eating candy for hours on end to try and numb the after-effects of being around our families for 3 days? Unmanageable. The third box of wine you just polished off this week? Unmanageable. 

We cannot manage any of this on our own… it is, by definition, unmanageable. It’s too big for us and we need help. We need a strong community to help us find our way back. 

In this moment of desperation, there is a community waiting to help guide you back to yourself. To help you re-member who you are, learn skills, help you emotionally regulate so your family doesn’t take you out in the future, and give you a collective strength to walk away from the substance that you are unable to put down. 

There is hope. 

Your only job? Reach out. 

If you think you are struggling with an addiction and you are ready to get help, call us.

If you are not sure if you are an addict, take one of our quizzes below.

Reference:

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/gay-and-lesbian-well-being/201411/lgbt-and-heading-home-the-holidays