My family makes me want to drink! | Surviving the Holidays with Family when you are LGBTQ+

Help! Being around my family makes me want to drink!

The only way many of us feel like we can survive holidays with the family is to remain constantly under the influence. The questions, the nagging, the political debates, the harassing about “When are you going to get married? When are you going to have kids? Or for-the-love – when will you focus on losing the weight, getting the right job…the list can go on ad infinitum!”

For many of us, the holidays are anything but happy. 

So we stuff our faces and our feelings with food and drinks and then feel like total shit when we wake up the next morning. 

If you are struggling to survive the holidays with your family, you are not alone. Family is where our addictions are born and nurtured. The family system—when it is dysregulated and dysfunctional—has neuro-biologically wired many of us to seek solace in a substance.

If you are wrestling within a family that can only see cisgender, heterosexual identities as normal, the tendency to hide and numb is even greater. Anything to avoid the inevitable shame that comes from being authentically human. 

If you found this post and you are in the middle of hiding from a toxic family system know that you are not alone today, even though it may seem like it. 

You are surrounded by hundreds of other people who are hiding from toxic family pain too. LGBTQ+ individuals just like you who just have not found their chosen family yet. 

Here at the LGBTQ+ Recovery Network we want you to know 3 things today 

  1. You are deeply and extravagantly loved, just as you are. 
  2. You are born perfect, without flaw, without mistake, and there is a community out there waiting to show you how wonderfully magnificent you are. 
  3. The trauma you experienced and may still be experiencing is NOT your fault, nor is fixing the dysfunction in your family your responsibility. 

Just because life is painful now and you feel that the only way to survive is to hide does not mean your life will always look this way. 

Countless other people from our community have found chosen family, healing, and lives of purpose beyond their wildest dreams. You are never too far away to come home and find peace, healing, community, love, and purpose. 

So today, the team at LRN wants to send you a big digital hug and remind you, it does get better. 

Just for today, hold on to hope, have compassion for yourself, and know that there is a community here at LRN cheering you on and holding a sacred space for you to step into. 

We love you!

🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 The LGBTQ+ Recovery Network Team 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️